Ard Matthews’ Eternal Elephant In The Room

Remember when Britney Spears shaved her head. Well, in the build up to Russell Brand’s now infamous (depending which side of the Atlantic you call home) stint as host of the MTV awards that year he was tasked with interviewing her while also being strongly ‘advised’ not to bring up her mental episode. Knowing what all the viewers would be thinking, the yank publicity specialist came up with the absurd idea of, literally, having an elephant in the room during the interview… get it?

Brittany Spears, Russel Brand and a pet elephant

Ring, ring.. Click.. "Hello America? This is the rest of the world calling. Not sure if you heard the news... but sometimes less is more. Gotta go, Australia is waiting on the other line."

Ard Matthews now has his own elephant that publicists can call on. And they probably will.

I know I’m probably the last to do so, but since seeing the incident last night I’ve deliberated on whether I should post on it or not. So, here is the video, but let me say this… it happens.

There is no doubt in my mind that Ard Matthews did not approach the situation lightly and had no intention to live out some life long dream of being labelled South Africa’s most unpatriotic entertainer. It’s on the very bottom of every white man’s list, plus wrestling that title away from Steve Hofmeyr requires more perseverance than making it through an episode of 3Talk With Nolene.

Like he said, the moment got to him. Simple as that. It could happen to anyone. I, as a Christian, relished in the opportunity given to me at school to prepare one of the Bible readings for that week.. determined to drop a moment of life-changing revelation into my classmates. However, when standing in front of 1200 peers all wanting to get on with the day, legs started to shake and words became blurry. I soon couldn’t read what was infront of me and soon enough I pushed these adrenaline powered words through the public address system “and then the, uh, humble… Oh shit! Shit, where am I?!“. If public speaking scares you, please feel free to replicate my moment in your own life as I can assure you, you will never be asked to speak at school again.

Anyway, in the context of Ard’s overwhelmingly sincere apologies.. here is the video. Chuckle, gasp, forgive and move on. At least his not a striking civil servant attacking people in the street… slightly more unpatriotic. Actually hell, at least his not Nolene Malasomething… or her wardrobe assistant.

Man hugs,
TwoSlice Dré