How To Spend This Long Weekend In Durban

Alright, so the last bit of holidays for a while are fast approaching and soon we’ll be relegated back to a life of exaggerating mild coughs to get a sick-day off work. Whatever you do, don’t waste this one. If you let go and trust me, this could actually be quite an amazing weekend for you. Here it is, in chronological order and with a bit of archaic lingo that will hopefully make me sound more trustworthy.

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Friday, It Begins…

Beware The Royal Distraction

1) Firstly though, here’s not what to do this weekend: Do not give a crap about the Royal Wedding (a part of me died just capitalizing that). Seriously, it has nothing to do with us and impacts the world in no real meaningful way. Surprise, surprise, there is an array of various Royal Wedding (aaagh, dying) related products that are now being pushed everywhere. As I type I’m watching an ad for the official Royal Wedding (this has got to stop, they don’t deserve caps!) photo album- which could be mine! So ja, Leave the TV off this weekend, don’t waste your time with this because before you know it, you could end up like these people one day.. you know, the ones that dress their pets in costumes…

The royal wedding Doesn’t Mean A Thing. Alright now that that is done.
Cost: Nil. Reward: The satisfaction of knowing you don’t have social issues.

Get Ready, Get a Hair Cut, Return To The Man Cave

It’s going to be a big weekend with many activities and little catch-up sessions with all those friends you don’t really have time for in the 5-day working week. You best look your best, if ya know what I mean. So head down to Nev The Barber, and get your cut on. Nev’s barber shop is situated on Brand Road, behind The Corner Café and has become the parlour of choice for Durban men who know what they want. Oh ja, it’s for men only. Among Nev’s local clientele are some of this city’s most spotlighted musicians, sportsmen, actors, and *cough* bloggers- so take it from me, you’re in good hands.

Cost: +/- R100. Reward: Look like you deserved your “Most Likely To Succeed In Life” award you got in Matric, instead of, you know, the truth.

Man Cave: No cosmo's or tampon dispensers, just hair cuts and figher jets!



Late Afternoon Caffeine Fix

To organise your weekend, you need a planning venue. Somewhere quiet, quirky and inspirational. Head down to Colombo and ask national barista champ finalist, Dirk Maritz, for a cappuccino that will speak to your social needs. If you have been to any of the Night Markets, you’ll know that this treasure on Gale street (just opposite The Willowvale), is really one of a kind. The café is set in the open plan roastery where you can see and smell exactly how your coffee is made. It doesn’t get more fresh than this.

Cost: R10 a cup (that’s damn cheap). Reward: Feeling like you’re one of those trendy New Yorkers that socialize at cool “urban industrial” venues.

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That's me stalking Dirk at the KZN Barista Regionals

Colombo, also home to the finest after-hours events in Durban

Saturday, Thy Vibe Is Music To Mine Ears

The Corner Café: Fine Food And Smooth Melodies

Most of knowledgeable Durban knows that the only way to spend a Saturday is by having breakfast at The Corner Café and hanging on for resident musos, The Wilderness Act, to take to the mic and fill the air with their jazz-like touch on the aural pleasures that we have come to know and love in our lives. The Corner Café has been featured on TV more times than I can count, and for good reason. They are really the only real “green” restaurant in Durban, maybe the country, their coffee is award winning, their food is punted in any magazine worth mentioning and owners Judd and Jeannie Campbell are there from the moment the doors open until they close. You’ll want to try anything with their special free-range scramby eggs, with a flat-white on the side (their house coffee, “Judd”, is specially roasted by the aforementioned Colombo).

Cost: R50 – R80. Reward: I can’t believe you even asked this.

She basically runs the place and makes all the food.

He basically hangs around just talking about his mountain bike.

John and Portia, doing their thing at Corner

Cape Town band, New Holland having a pre-gig lunch/boozer.

aKing, live at Unit 11.. ’nuff said

I have been waiting for this one since The Cosby Show finished. Tomorrow night I have the privilege of hosting the biggest gig yet at Unit 11. aKing have teleported themselves all the way from Cape Town to grace us with their “chart-topping” (eish, I sounded so East Coast Radio right there, but you know what I mean) music and insane live act. Honestly, it’s going to be ridiculous! There is every reason to come, with members from Thieve and Fokofpolisiekar making up the band, it’s the gig you’ve been waiting for. Epically awesome Gangs of Ballet will open. Too sweet!

Cost: R60. Reward: Remembering what it’s like to  have music melt your face off.

aKing will own us all tomorrow night.

CBM at the last Unit gig..

And On Sunday, Ye Shall Do Chilled Vibes While Harvesting A Tan

He Who Ride’s A Cruiser, Is Cooler Than He Who Rollerblades

Who am I to tell you what to do on a Sunday, so I shall just put forward my one recommendation… going for a slow bicycle ride around the Durban beachfront on uber trendy old-school cruisers that will get you an envious look every 2 minutes (we don’t do it for the envy though, I think). These, back-pedal bicycles are super easy to ride and as smooth as the silk your daddy’s ties are made of.

The route I usually take with mates is from the foyer of the Elangeni Hotel, where you rent them from, down to uShaka and through to that little wooden viewin deck at the harbour mouth, and then back up on the promenade, past the Elangeni and all the way to Moses Mabida Stadium where we cruise down all those smoothly paved ramps and then catch a coffee and a bite to eat and head back. It’s a flipping rad way to chill with mates, get out and see your city, and catch a tan, while you can also exercise to get in shape using different supplements online for this, see this here to find out what are the best supplements for you. Call Street Scene Tours, who are in care of the Bike & Saddle group in Durban to find out more.

Cost: Dunno, find out here. Reward: Exercise, tan, looking cool and seeing your city.


One Last Coffee & The Comforts Of Home

Before you head back to work and put on your corporate face, head down to Jiran and try the halloumi breakfast with a “Into Africa” cappucino to wash it down. Then…. relax. It’s been a big weeken and you’ve chilled with family, partied with friends and got some exercise while seeing your city. Now is the time to veg in front of your laptop or TV and enjoy some mindless escapism- I’d recommend some 30 Rock, Community and Lie To Me as viable options to stay thoroughly entertained for an afternoon. The most fun you can have eating Ghost Pops.

So there we go. I tried.
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