Haven’t Been Harrassed By The Police? Blind For You, We Have!

I’m angry as I write this.. don’t give a crap about grammar or spelling, so live with the typos.

Durban.. know your rights! It will come in handy when two corrupt cops pull you over in Windermere Road to try and get cash out of you.

This is the story… spread it far and wide! Tell all your mates about Inspector Maharaj and his tourettes-suffering sidekick, of police van fame, BNY 277 B.

If I let my normal style of writing take control right now, I’d just ramble on and on, try and crack some jokes and most likely end up losing my temper and saying things I would regret later. Point form is the best way to do this…

As It Unfolded

  • We go out to watch The Shadowclub at Unit 11. “We” = everyone I  like to hangout with.
  • La Els frontman, Jonas  and keyboardist John (with his brother) have all had a good time so the smart decision of getting a lift with me instead of driving is made. (I’m not a teetotaler but I never drink copious amounts) .
  • This particular night, I had one double brandy and coke at 21h30.
  • After leaving and before heading home, we stop to get some Steers in Windermere road, and Jonas is told, by what can only be an Umhlanga poppie who lost her way while slumming it in Morningside, that his band is average. She just told us her taxi driver was her best friend, so we don’t take her insults to heart.
  • Heading back to Glenwood, we stop at the robots outside Windermere Centre.
  • At about 00h30, a cop van with licence plate BNY 277 B suts us off and parks blocking off the lane so we can’t go anywhere.
  • Inspector Maharaj gets out his van marches straight to my door and says “License!” (The irony is, of the 5 people in the car who had to deal with Maharaj, we were all utterly convinced he was intoxicated.)

The Short Story

What happened next was long and nerve-wrecking if you were there… but mostly long. So basically…

  • Maharaj’s first sentence to me is “Can you even stand on your own two feet?”. This is said to me with shaky eyes and cigarette smoke steaming from his mouth, while I’m standing perfect balanced on “my own two feet”
  • He accused me of being drunk but would not peform any test on me. Apparently, his word is good enough. No “walk a line”, “stand on one leg”… and what that other one? Man, the name escapes me.. Oh, yes, a breathalyzer. Nothing.
  • When being honest that my friend Zane and I were sober, but the three in the back were quite joyous.. I was told that I’m the driver, so I’m responsible. Implying, that I’m in trouble regardless only because I have non-sober passengers.
  • The only way I could get a breathalyzer done is if I got in the back of the van and went to CR Square (as if!) and I could then get out on Monday. Apparently Maharaj and his petty sidekick think I’m a moron.
  • Maharaj, says he’ll let me off with a warning. I say no thanks, what is the warning even for. This starts the aggressive cycle all over again, at which point Constable Sidekick start hurling insults at the passengers.
  • Bla bla bla… more intimidation.. bla bla bla..
  • Maharaj throws my drivers licence on the ground and as I pick it up, he turns to the car to say “Look hoe drunk he is, he can’t even hold onto his license. Jonas and I look at each other in total disbelief.
  • Bla Bla more intimidation..
  • We start getting on the phones to our lawyers at which point the cops realise we’re not moving.. so they bugger off to go find their next victims, not before making us apologise for wasting their time..

The worst thing about it, is not being able to meet aggression with aggression. That would have been awesome (They weren’t carrying their firearms so I assume they were maybe off-duty?) but these cops know they have all the power, so you just stand there and try and speak truth to someone who has already made up his backhanded mind. Imagine, if someone breaks into my house and the same SAPS member that comes “to serve and protect” is the guy who tried to get cash from me the weekend before. Nice.

Bottom line: if I was “drunk”, I was able to argue my way out of the situation with these two cops leaving me to endanger the lives of others by letting me go. But I wasn’t drunk and they knew that within 5 seconds of speaking to me, so uh, that’s not very cool either.

Guys, spread the word, we wont stop until something happens… and if this ever happens to you report it immediately. There are too many great cops out there to let these douchebags ruin their reputation.

Inspector Maharaj and Constable Sidekick, I hope you lose your jobs and are never asked to protect civilians again.