New Holland: The Interview I Didn’t Know Would Happen

Colgate fresh

Colgate fresh

Late last year: Imagine you start your day off as any other, head down to The Corner Café for your fix, and then go shopping for foam mattresses in town with Jeannie (the chef-uh-stress?).. you know, as you do. Next thing.. you get a call from Judd saying “Ja, uh some hippie band from Cape Town called Old Holland or New Hollandaise Sauce or something is here to chat. Where you, you keen?”. It was New Holland of course. I told Jeannie that any mattress would do, and all foam is the same so if it’s for communal use, you’re just as protected from diseases on the one as you are from the other. Paid the mattress man. Sped back to the cafe at a speed only known to Cape Flats gentleman who have have “un-chipped” their Golf 5s.

We get back and as true as anything that comes out of Riaan Cruywagen’s mouth, there they were. What the hell were they doing here? I love this band. They’re one of the biggest acts in the country. Walking toward their table, I’ve never been so intimidated by a bunch of guys wearing short-shorts and Jesus sandles. Turns out they were killing some time before playing the ThunderRoad Fest.

It’s go time.

TwoSlice: How do you take your coffee?
New Holland: Black, two sugars, milk. With tea.
TS: Oh.. Ok, you see, the problem here is that you don’t all have one collective coffee drink. So when I write down your answer it’s not going to make sense.
NH: That’s not entirely our problem.
TS: With that attitude, it’s no wonder you haven’t been interviewed before. I’m just saying.
NH: Uh, awkward. We’ve been interviewed lank and been on MK’s Studio 1. We’re just saying.
TS: Hmmm, I honestly did not know that. Fair enough, I’m going to have to re-write all my questions though.

TS: Anyway, more importantly are you digging the vibe here? Is the food you ordered nice and the beers cold?
NH: Will the interview go up if we say anything else but “yes”?
TS: No.
NH: Ok, yes.

TS: And in what way is Durban better than Cape Town?
NH: Indian girls.
TS: Ja, I suppose now that Mandela’s free, you next generation Afrikaans boytjies must feel how I felt when I realised Fanta came in more flavours than just grape.


This is what "unprepared at the worst time" looks like.. now you know

TS: How hectic would the rider be… or what would you need in writing, guaranteed, for you to agree to open for Justin Bieber on his 2011 Bieber Fever World Tour?
NH: We’d do it just for an autograph. If we got to stroke his hair, that would pretty much sum up our idea of success.
TS: Is there a position for Judd Campbell in your band?
NH: Is he the full-figured gentleman that only serves tables with beautiful women?
TS: Yip.
NH: Ja, we could use him as a body double for sex scenes

TS: Guys, lets talk industry for a moment. I’m sure the one thing on the minds of up and coming bands today is: Is it possible to be in a successful band today if you don’t wear skinny jeans and pointy shoes?
NH: Look, there have obviously been those that have made it regardless but they’re the stories that fairytales are made of. The industry is actually quite heavily regulated so it’s incredibly difficult these days. But ja, there are insane acts that have broken free and still made it their own.
TS: Like PJ Powers?
NH: What?
TS: You know, the chick from Mango Groove.
NH: Is this a real interview?
TS: Moving on.

TS: In the last 5 to 10 years, there has been a noticeable shift up in the production quality and all round radness of South African music. What would you attribute that to?
NH: Globalization. With easier access to what’s happening overseas and professional software also becoming easier to get our hands on, the playing fields definitely start leveling out. It’s at a point where it’s really just down to hard work and creativity, no excuses.

New Holland


TS: Currently, who do you think are some of the most underrated acts in our country?
NH: Taxi Violence and BLK JKS, without a doubt.

TS: What do our local bands need from us civilians?
NH: Actually, we’ve been freakishly fortunate so whatever they’re doing is working for us. We’re stoked!

TS: What have you got lined up?
NH: Well, we’re here for ThunderRoad Fest gig which is cool, ‘cos we always seem to have a rad time in Durban. The big thing we’re amped about now is our new single Transkei, just been released.
TS: Can I put it up on our blog for free?
NH: No.
TS: And if I hack into your website and steal it anyway?
NH: …. uh, ok? Sorry, who did you say you write for again.

(Fortunately, at this exact moment, the next round of beers was served and the discussion about digital theft was averted and forgotten. I ended up hacking into the site and stealing the song the next day, as well as photos I found in a private folder marked “When our hair was normal”- blackmail.)

TS: Thanks for your time guys. At this very moment you’re having lunch at The Corner Café *cough*that you’re paying for*cough* and we’ve just told you your beers are on us.. How does it feel to have finally made it in Durban
NH: Mooi.

Download the New Holland track “Transkei”… here, and check the boys out on Facebook… here.

As always, hugs..